


The One Where Jake Peralta Uses His Key Weapon in His Annual Heist War...Peter Parker.

by arachnapete



Series: The Times Where Peter Parker and Jake Peralta Were The Ultimate Duo [2]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-15 12:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15413127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arachnapete/pseuds/arachnapete
Summary: Who said that using a genius level teenager with spider powers is cheating in an annual heist competition?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Follow up fic of the time Spider-Man saved Jake Peralta but, this time, Jake needs the help of Peter Parker.
> 
> [REQUESTED]
> 
> [REQUESTS ARE OPEN]
> 
> [SEND IN REQUESTS ON MY TUMBLR: spideyy-pete]

October 31st.

The most important day in history. 

It was the legendary annual heist of the great Jacob Peralta and Raymond Holt. 

It’s simple: Captain Holt gives Jake until the end of the night (midnight to be exact) to steal one of his prized possessions. In return, Holt agreed to do all of Jake’s paperwork for a month and would have to let everyone know he’s the greatest detective of all time or vice versa if Jake happens to lose.

Yet, here we are, two hours into the heist and Jake has nothing. Nada, zilch, zero. This year, Holt challenged Jake to attempt to steal his wedding ring. Now, that was already a problem to begin with. Sure, Jake had been planning his next move since November 1st of last year, but to steal a ring? Off a finger? No way in hell could a pick pocketer attempt that.

To make things worse, Holt took off the ring.

And placed it in a very secure box.

A very very secure box that he was sure the Avengers couldn’t even break into. (That might be an exaggeration but you get the point).

Jake had been sitting at his desk trying to ponder his next move but Charles made the next move for him, he just didn’t know it.

“Oh God Jake! Jake! I think I’m dying. Just know, you’re the only person I would share a cow’s tongue with. And let me tell you, it’s the greatest dish ever.” Charles dramatically fell to the ground in front of Jake’s desk.

Jake rose an eyebrow, “What happened this time?”

“A spider bit me! Oh God, I can’t handle the life of becoming Brooklyn’s very own Spider-Man. I mean, I know I have a ridiculously good looking body but it’s also very sensitive!”

Spider-Man. Jake knows Spider-Man.

Alright, fine. Maybe it was against the rules that Spider-Man wasn’t allowed to help Jake in the heist but the rules didn’t say Peter Parker couldn’t help Jake. No, the squad doesn’t technically know Peter Parker or the fact that he’s Spider-Man, but that only gives him more of the opportunity to ask for Peter’s help.

“That’s great Charles, I’m sure Spider-Man wouldn’t even want you as a sidekick. Well anyways, gotta make a phone call, bye!” Jake quickly spoke and rushed out of the squad room and to his car.

He quickly scrolled through his contacts until he found the one he was looking for.

Two rings later, a voice came over the phone, “Hello? Mr Detective Peralta is everything alright? Need help with a case?”

“I need to arrest you.”

“If this is about the time I took two free samples instead of one, I swear I went back and apologized!” 

“Kid, I’m not worried about your ridiculous—but adorable—ideas of what crime is. I just need to win a bet.”

“Say no more.”

***

An hour later, Rosa and Peter were making their way to the squad with handcuffs on Peter’s wrist. As the doors pinged, Rosa and Peter gave each other a knowing look and smirk. Let the games begin.

The elevator doors opened and the plan swung into action, “Let go of me! I didn’t do anything wrong!” Peter yelled.

“Sure kid, because tagging city property isn’t a crime.” Rosa rolled her eyes.

“Other people do it!”

“Alright kid, that’s enough.” Holt commanded, stepping out of his office.

“Tell the cop lady to let me go!”

“I-“

“Max? Is that you?” Jake gasped.

“Jake?” Peter replied going along with whatever fake name Jake used for him.

“Who the hell is this kid Peralta?” Holt questioned.

“My cousin from my mom’s side.”

“Jake, we grew up together. I would know if you had a cousin we didn’t know about.” Gina rose an eyebrow, crossing her arms.

Damn it Gina.

“He’s from Manhattan, never came up in a conversation because he and his family never visited until they recently moved out here.” Jake shrugged, mentally high fiving himself for thinking quick.

“Family or not, rules are rules Peralta. We have to put him through the system before setting him on bail.” Holt said.

“This is bullshit!” Peter yelled.

Wow, this kid really knows how to sell it.

“That’s enough kid!” Rosa snapped dragging him to the holding cell.

Everyone except Jake, Rosa, and Boyle rolled their eyes after the whole fiasco then continued their day. Or rather... heist.

Fifteen minutes later, Jake took Peter over to the interrogation room claiming Peter had a link to some random case. 

Once the door closed, Jake bursted in laughter, “That was so badass Peter! Great idea to keep up the angsty teen in you!”

“Thanks! Nat—The Black Widow taught me how to keep straight faces and make the cover story believable.” Peter smiled.

Jesus, this kid would always be way cooler than Jake ever was, not that he’ll ever admit that of course.

“Alright kid, we don’t have a lot of time. You see that one way glass over there? Rosa is keeping an eye out. Phase two begins now.”

“Um, Mr Detective Peralta? Just to be clear, only you and Rosa know about the thing right? Your friend Charles and everyone else think I’m actually some random kid?” Peter twiddled with this thumbs.

Now, normally (Well not exactly ‘normally’, why would you call knowing a teenager with spider abilities normal?), Jake would jump and brag about the kid being Spider-Man but he knew better than to out Peter like that. He had an aunt he cared about more than anything else and an attempt to keep his normal life...well, normal. 

And Jake would be dammed if anything happened to the kid if people found out he was Spider-Man. Of course he trusted the nine-nine with his life (Hitchcock and Scully were...debatable) but, this wasn’t his secret to tell. 

Rosa only found out because of a certain mission that maybe required Spider-Man’s help only for Peter to accidentally slip out his Uncle Ben’s name and long story short, Ben had actually been the one to mentor Rosa when she first started as a beat cop in Queens. 

Two knocks on the glass were sounded, signaling Boyle came back with the supplies.

“Alright kid, you know what you’re doing, right?” Jake asked only for Peter to respond with an eye roll.

“You do realize I have to do this in order to do what I do, right?”

“Keep up the sass kid or else I’ll call your aunt.”

“First of all, May taught me sass. Second of all, you sound like Mr Stark more and more every time I’m with you. Except for the whole ‘I’m iron man and a billionaire’ thing.”

“Whatever, I’m definitely cooler than Tony Stark.”

“That’s what you think.”

“Hey!-“

“Miss Diaz, you can come in with the supplies now!” Peter called out interrupting Jake.

Rosa stepped in with a box of items to make web fluid and a small smirk plastered on her face, “Here ya go Pete. You better hurry, I’m pretty sure the captain is starting to get suspicious that we’re taking a while in here.”

“Boyle seriously didn’t question bringing any of this in?” Jake said in disbelief.

“He thinks we’re making glue.” Rosa scoffed.

“He’s not technically wrong.” Peter muttered beginning to mix the formula he had memorized.

“Awe man, I really can’t wait to tell Ned about all of this. I’m really helping two of the coolest detectives in a heist!” Peter excitedly bounced up and down in his seat.

Rosa had a small fond smile on her face. Jake happened to notice this. He, however, should have known better than to call Rosa out on it.

“Woah Rosa? Is that a smile? You do have feelings!”

Rosa’s face immediately went into a dark glare and grabbed Jake by his collar, “You tell anyone and I’ll make sure you won’t see the light of day. I, Rosa Diaz, do not have feelings.”

“Yes m’am.” Jake quickly nodded his head.

“Good.” Rosa gave a shit eating grin and turned back to Peter.

Peter bit back a laugh but continued to focus on working on the fluid. The rules may have said Spider-Man but they didn’t state not to use Spider-Man’s abilities while as Peter Parker.

After a moment of silence, Jake spoke up again, “You know now that I think about it. How am I supposed to trust you to be on our team? I don’t even know where you live!” 

Rosa’s shit eating grin returned, “Good. It means I’m doing my job right.”

This time, Peter actually laughed, “Wow. Miss Diaz, you remind me a lot of my friend MJ. She’s scary and mysterious. And really pretty.” Peter definitely mumbled that last part but no one needed to know that.

“She sounds like an acceptable person in my books then.” Rosa nodded crossing her arms. She wouldn’t admit but Peter had her wrapped around his finger. The softness she felt whenever Peter called her Miss Diaz and constantly talked about how badass she was made her want to puke then shoot anyone in the eyeballs if they dared move a hair on Peter’s head.

Peter had reminded Rosa of Ben quite a bit, almost like a mirror reflection. No way will she ever someone hurt Peter.

“Alright, and...done.” Peter poked his tongue out a bit as he inspected the fluid.

“This is gonna be epic! Maybe we’ll end the night in a dance off like Footloose or something!” Jake exclaimed.

“Footloose?” Peter rose an eyebrow.

“Uh Yeah? One of the greatest dance movies of all time?”

“It never was.”

Jake’s smile fell, he turned back to the one way glass, “Charles, take the kid away.”

Rosa had an amused face as Peter snickered while Charles took him away in handcuffs. Rosa and Jake got up to leave the room but Rosa threatingly pushed Jake up against the wall, “If that kid ever ends up with the smallest scratch, I will kill everyone and then myself.”

“You say that like I’m gonna hurt him!”

“I know you aren’t, I just wanted an excuse to threaten you.”

***

“Charles, are you sure you located it?” Jake whispered to his friend.

“Yes, I’m sure. It’s kind of hard to miss a small vault with two different keypads, three different locks, and five different keyholes! Not to mention, Gina and Terry are guarding it like crazy!” Charles whispered-shouted.

“Alright, alright. Let phase three commence.” Jake stated.

Jake stepped back into the squad room where Peter was sitting next to his desk. There was definite tension in the air but everyone tried to play it off.

“Peralta.” Holt deadpanned.

“Holt.” Jake replied in a deep voice, mimicking Holt’s voice.

“No progress yet, I see.” Holt looked around the squad room.

“I’m sure you’ll see some soon, Captain.” 

“Two hours Jakey. Two hours!” Gina sing-songed as she passed the pair.

“You heard her, two hours Jacob.” Holt smirked as he walked away.

Jake rolled his eyes as he made his way over to his desk, “Want water?” He offered to Peter, holding a cup towards the teen.

Peter only shrugged in response, grabbing the cup. 

“You know, you could let me go and we could pretend none of this ever happened.” Peter suggested.

“That’s so not how this works Max.” Jake sighed as he got up from his seat. Peter quickly got up to follow him over to the printers. Or more specifically, the printers next to Terry’s desk.

“I’m just saying, we’re family. You could let me off with a warning.” Peter shrugged as he secretly poured the “cup of water” in Terry’s empty seat.

“Wow Peralta, must suck knowing you’re losing a bet because you got some angsty teen issues!” Terry mocked as he past the duo over to his seat.

Both Peter and Jake gave each other a knowing look but continued their play until a familiar voice made their way into the building.

“Maxwell Byers! You better have a good explanation for this!” 

Que, May Parker.

“Mom! I-“

“Oh don’t you ‘mom’ me! You’re in so much trouble! I was in a very important meeting until I got a call from Jake saying you were arrested? I can’t believe this Maxwell!”

Man, if Jake thought the kid was badass. What the hell was May Parker? She could probably slap Jake into next Tuesday and he would be thankful. 

“Who’s in charge here? I want to speak to someone!” May demanded.

“We can talk Ms Byers, I have kids of my own. I know how troubling they can be,” Terry offered getting up from his seat but he seemed to be caught in a rather sticky situation.

“Um, actually. I think talking to the captain would be best.” He coughed awkwardly not wanting to look unprofessional. He scowled at Jake knowing this had to do with the heist. 

“Cap! Angry ‘I want to speak to the manager’ mom wants to talk to you.” Gina called out to Holt.

“Please, step into my office Ms Byers.” Holt did his best to hold back from letting out an exasperated sigh. 

May grabbed Peter by the wrist, secretively handing him his webshooters. Peter cleared his throat. Now, it was go time. 

“Fourty-Five minutes.” Gina whispered as she passed by Jake. 

Terry was on to Jake, so he knew he couldn’t pour the fluid on Gina’s seat. Instead, he scratched the back of his head, giving Boyle the signal.

Boyle then looked at Rosa who disabled the security cameras and was already on her way to the filing room where the vault box was hidden. 

Boyle turned around from where he was “washing his hands” and called over for Gina, “Gina! I need help getting this scratch on my back!”

“Ew, what the hell Charles? I’m not helping you” Gina scrunched up her face.

“Please! It’s just right here! Look!” Charles grabbed Gina’s hand.

“I-What the hell? Let go of my hand!”

“I can’t!”

“Why?!”

“...It’s stuck.” Charles sheepishly muttered.

“What do you mean stuck?!” Gina cried.

“Um, I was making a scrap book for Genieve and I was using gorilla glue and well.” Charles gestured to their hands stuck together.

“I’m going to eat your first born child and then smack you so hard you’ll be able to see Jesus himself!” Gina yelled, jumping on Charles.

“Oh God, I leave for one day and the entire squad is about to kill each other! Oh no, where’s Jake?” Amy cried as she stepped into the squad room.

“Amy help! I’m stuck to my chair! Terry has a family to feed and Terry can’t do that if he’s stuck to a chair! Oh God, will I ever see my baby girls ever again?!” Terry cried from his seat.

“Um?!” Amy panicked.

“Don’t go to us for help. Hitchcock is currently gonna stab my entire foot to see if I have any feeling in it left!” Scully shrugged.

***

Meanwhile, Holt was trying to reason with a very angry Ms Byers while Jake watched from the sidelines. 

“My son did no such thing! I will get my lawyers involved!” May cried while Peter stuck his tongue out at Holt when she wasn’t looking.

“Look, Ms Byers, I understand your concern-“

Holt was cut off by his entire squad screaming in panic.

“Um, I’m so sorry. Excuse me, Ms Byers.” Holt awkwardly excused himself as he quickly made his way out of his office.

The trio waited for the door to close and then began phase 4: The Break-In. 

“Alright Pete, you sure you know what you’re doing?” Jake asked in panic, he only had 30 minutes.

“Oh I’m sure. A good friend of mine taught me how to climb through vents.” He shrugged as he climb up the wall and into the vent.

“Pete, you better make me proud or else I’m putting you up for adoption.”

“May!” Peter cried.

“Peter Benjamin Parker, I raised no bitch. You better be the reason Jake wins this bet!”

Peter hurriedly made his way through the vents and into the filing room where Rosa was waiting for him. He dropped down and spun Holt’s keys around his finger.

“Nice work Pete. Alright, let’s do this.” Rosa moves the box in front of him.

“You got the numbers for the passcodes?” Peter asked.

“Who do you think I am kid? It was so easy. One was his husbands birthday, the other were the numbers on his license plate.”

“Nice!” 

“How did you manage to get his keys anyways?” Rosa asked as Peter unlocked the vault.

“I got sticky hands and legs, I just climbed him without him noticing. Then I snatched his keys.” Peter said nonchalantly.

Rosa let out an “oh” face but didn’t continue the conversation, just kept eyes on the clock. 

Seven minutes.

“Pete you gotta go! You’re running out of time!” Rosa rushed him.

Pete smirked and held up the ring. Rosa gave him an approving nod as he went back into the vents and back to Holt’s office.

He dropped back down and silently sat back in his seat.

“Pete, c’mon you’re killing me here.” May huffed.

“Pete? Kid? Kiddo? Please tell me you got it.” Jake begged.

Pete looked at both of them then broke into a grin, “Got it.” He smiled as he held up the ring.

With only ten seconds to spare.

All three of them got up and stepped out of the office and into the chaos.

“Ms Byers, my apologies. My squad is in a bit of a predicament.” 

“Oh but Captain, times run out.” May had a devilish smile plastered on her face.

The captains eyes went wide as the entire squad fell into silence.

“The heist.” He whispered horrified.

“Oh the heist indeed!” Jake called out.

“Pete, if you will?” Jake motioned over to Peter.

“Who’s-“ Terry began but quickly stood quiet when Peter held up the ring in victory.

“How? How did you?” Holt was at a loss for words, he was sure he had this one in the bag.

“Ah Captain. Meet my good friends, Peter and May Parker. They’re family friends.” Jake gestured to the duo, silently praying that the squad wouldn’t ask further questions about May and Peter.

“Peter here, smartest kid you’ll ever meet. Has a genius level intellect and has great movie taste!” Peter smirked as he fist bumped with Jake.

“You see, he created a super glue that would hold you to your seats, keeping you away from the vault.” Jake continued to explain, doing his best to cover up anything that would give away Peter being Spider-Man.

“How did you get my keys?” Holt rose an eyebrow at Peter.

Peter cleared his throat trying his best to come up with the best lie he could, “I learned how to pick pocket from a movie once,” He scratches the back of his neck.

“Not that I would ever pick pocket! That’s illegal!” He quickly added.

Jake continued to explain the successful heist as Holt listened with an amused face.

“I have to hand it to you Peralta, you really surprised me this year.”

“Why thank you Captain. However, I believe you owe me something?”

The captain sighed, “Is this everyone you want me to do it in front of?”

Peter and Jake looked at each other, “Well...”

***

An hour later, a very amused Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, and Happy Hogan were standing in some Brooklyn Precinct. 

Needless to say, Raymond Holt was mortified.

“Well Captain? Get on with it.” Jake smiled.

May held up the video camera and hit the record button.

“First of all,” Holt called out as he stood up on top of a desk, “How do you even know Tony Stark?!” 

“Internship.” Peter, Jake, Tony, Pepper, Happy, May, and Rosa all said at the same time.

Holt only shook his head and took a deep breath, “I, Captain Raymond Holt, declare Jacob Peralta as the best detective in all of New York. I also declare that he is surperior in every way and hope he continues to be the best damn cop that there is. Thank you.” He grimaced at his words but stepped down from the desk he was standing on.

“You seriously called us over to embarrass a police captain?” Tony rose an eyebrow at Peter.

“I take after you.” He shot back.

Pepper choked on her water as Happy silently laughed, “Oh c’mon underoos. So now that you have a new mentor, you think you can disrespect me?” Tony dramatically cried.

Peter only rolled his eyes, “You’re such a nerd. At least Mr Peralta encourages crime fighting!” 

“You wound me Parker.” Tony shook his head but laughed anyways. He turned over to Jake, “I also know you do your best to keep him out of trouble, so I guess that makes another adult to be apart of the Peter defense squad.”

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” May laughed.

“That scary lady named it that,” Tony shrugged pointing to Rosa who was watching with a glare.

“Remind me to never introduce her to the Black Widow.” He said turning to Happy and Pepper who agreed.

“Or MJ for that matter.” Pete shook his head horrified at the thought of how powerful that trio could be.

Jake was at loss for words, “Cool cool cool cool no doubt no doubt no doubt Tony Stark is only casually talking to you noice noice noice.” He mumbled to himself.

“Thank you Mr Peralta for letting me be apart of your heist.” Peter smiled.

Jake broke out of his star-struckism and gave a fond smile to the teen, “Anytime kid. You’re an honorary member of the nine-nine now.”

Peter cheered then made his way over to Rosa. He tackled her into a hug which caught her by surprise but she couldn’t help but maybe, possibly, kind of hugging back. The squad watched in awe but Rosa only held up her gun at the team as she continued to hold onto Peter. 

“You know what? If Jake can get Peter to be apart of his team this year, I’m going to get Spider-Man to be apart of mine next year.” Holt declared.

“Oh, I’m sure he would like that.” Peter squeaked.

“Who knows, maybe the nine-nine will go against the Avengers next year.” Pepper jokingly suggested.

Everyone paused.

“Happy?” Tony asked.

“Yeah boss?”

“I need to make a call to the Avengers.”


	2. Authors Note: The Avengers vs The B99 Heist is now Posted!

Hey everyone! Since tons of comments were left on this story asking If I was going to actually write the Avengers vs the B99 heist, I came on here to let you all know that chapter one is now posted :) 

I do want to apologize about taking a couple of days to write it, I’ve been extremely busy. However, I don’t plan to take a long time to write the heist. I’ll promise you that.

Also, when I was typing the heist last night, it kept being posted when it wasn’t ready to be posted so my apologies if anyone read the incomplete versions and were confused! This completely messed up the numbering on the series so I’m working on getting it fixed.

Thank you for all the support and the kindness of your comments of the past two fics I’ve written, it’s meant a lot :)

I hope you enjoy The Ultimate Heist story! Chapter One is now posted!


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